Showing posts with label Legal Practice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Legal Practice. Show all posts

Friday, August 24, 2012

My usual tactic is to feign a heart-attack - shortness of breath, arm goes limp, etc. - but...

...I guess this would work.

Bug-Infested Witness Shuts Down Detroit Court Room:

A court room in Detroit’s 36th District Court is closed after officials say a bug-infested man showed up for proceedings.

Judge Cylenthia Miller chose to evacuate the court and send her staff home after a bailiff spotted the man with insects crawling on him.

His daughter told the Detroit News he has a bedbug problem at his home, but a court staffer talking to WWJ Newsradio 950 said it’s not yet clear what kind of bugs were on the man — indicating that they also could have been cockroaches or fleas.

The man was reportedly there to serve as a witness in a case.

A pest control company has been called in to spray. It was unclear when Judge Miller’s court room would reopen.

Yuck

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

One reason to work for me.

Ann Althouse reports:

142 legal secretaries surveyed and not one preferred working with a woman partner.

Why? Lawprof Felice Batlan elicited these comments:

• “Females are harder on their female assistants, more detail oriented, and they have to try harder to prove themselves, so they put that on you. And they are passive aggressive where a guy will just tell you the task and not get emotionally involved and make it personal.”

• “I just feel that men are a little more flexible and less emotional than women. This could be because the female partners feel more pressure to perform.”

• “Female attorneys have a tendency to downgrade a legal secretary.”

• “I am a female legal secretary, but I avoid working for women because [they are] such a pain in the ass! They are too emotional and demeaning.”

• “Female attorneys are either mean because they're trying to be like their male counterparts or too nice/too emotional because they can't handle the stress. Either way, their attitude/lack of maturity somehow involves you being a punching bag.”

• Women lawyers have “an air about them.”

The most obvious theme there is: emotion. It's the old: Women are more emotional. A secondary theme is: Women display the effects of the discrimination they've experienced. It's a complex mix, apparently.

Obviously, the secretaries' perspectives are subjective, and they themselves are women (95% of those surveyed were) so whatever is true of women — they're emotional/they're victims of discrimination — would, presumably, also be true of them.
Of course, there are some notorious male attorneys who are complete jerks to work for.

Just saying.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

So the lawyer said to St. Peter, "But I died so young".....

...and St. Peter replied, "Well, according to your billing records you are 102 years old."

Lawyer suspended for billing more than 24 hours in a day.

An Ohio lawyer has been suspended for overbilling local courts for her representation of poor clients, submitting bills for more than 24 hours a day on three different occasions.


The lawyer, Kristin Ann Stahlbush of Toledo, will be suspended for two years, with the second year stayed if she completes a one-year probationary period, the Legal Profession Blog reports.

According to an Ohio Supreme Court opinion (PDF) issued Tuesday, Stahlbush billed the courts in Lucas County for more than 24 hours a day on at least three different days, and more than 20 hours a day on five other occasions.

The court said Stahlbush failed to keep adequate records of the hours she worked, submitted inflated fee requests, and sometimes “merely guessed at the time she had spent on a case.” She had no prior discipline, however, and was known as a competent and hardworking lawyer.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Revenge of the Court Reporters

Now, all those dumb things that lawyers say off the cuff - usually because they're thinking of the next question - will be publicized on "Overheard in Court."

Can You Spell That?


Q. Do you have any children, ma’am?

A. Yes. I have one daughter.

Q. And what is her name?

A. Kenyati.

Q. Could you spell that for our court reporter?

A. (Pauses) You know, I never did know how to spell that just right.
And:

Alive or Dead!


Q: Okay. And I guess I didn’t ask you about that. Your mom had a sister?

A: One living sister, yes.

Q: Okay. What’s her name?

A: Lori Johnson.

Q: Okay. Where does she live?

A: Here in town.

Q: Is she still alive?
And:

Restate the question, please.


A. Could you ask the question again? I’m sorry.

Q. Okay. Your knowledge with respect to advice given by their counsel concerning acceptance of a 2X loan over a 1X bridge loan that contained a security vehicle has not changed since the time you filed the complaint and to date?

A. I’m almost through the labyrinth there.
And:
He loved it more than me…


Q. Winnie, Did you deliver Frazier’s fishing tackle box to my office?

A. I most certainly did.

Q. Did the judge tell you not to do anything to Frazier’s belongings?

A. He did. Frazier always loved that tackle box and fishing more than me.

(Lawyer has court reporter mark tackle box)

Q. Is this paper sack the way you delivered this tackle box to my office?

A. It most certainly is. Frazier always loved fishing more than he did me.

(Lawyer opens tackle box by court reporter. Court reporter screams)

Q. Well, then Winnie, who crapped in Frazier’s tackle box?
Good times, good times.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

 
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