Like watching a train wreck.

I don't know whether I should laugh or be revolted by this story.

On the one hand, she's a narrow-minded, smug, egotist who sits in judgment of everyone else, and finding anyone who departs from her ideal as defective and flawed, at the same time she's finding out that she's being judged and being found wanting.  So I sort of like the feeling of schadenfreude at her situation.

On the other hand, see above.

Holding Paper - False Rape.

This one involves a 16 year old who was railroaded into prison for five years:

After a decade, it was the judgment that Brian Banks and his lawyers from the California Innocence Project fought for: Case dismissed.

"My only dream in the world was to just be free and to have the same opportunity as everybody here," said Banks following Thursday's hearing.

At age 16, Brian Banks had been a popular student at Polytechnic High in Long Beach, an athlete being scouted by eight colleges.

He verbally accepted an offer to attend the University of Southern California on a four-year scholarship when a serious accusation came from a fellow classmate and childhood friend.

Wanetta Gibson, then 15 years old, claimed Banks had raped her at school. With a case of he said she said, Banks did as his lawyers urged -- to plead no contest and accept a short prison term rather than risk a long one.

Gibson collected $1.5 million after suing the school. Banks spent five years in prison and five years on parole, finally reaching out to California Project Innocence. But the case turned when the alleged victim contacted him through Facebook asking to be his friend.

"I got on my knees and I prayed to God. If there is an opportunity for me to find some way of proving my innocence by communicating with this person, I asked God to help me play my cards right," said Banks.

Then came a face-to-face meeting. Gibson admitted that she lied and was willing to help Banks clear his name, according to court records. But there was just one problem she had -- would she have to pay back the $1.5 million? It was a fear that made Gibson weary of telling her story to prosecutors.

But according to defense attorneys, Gibson admitted she was worried about having to pay back the money during a second meeting with Banks that was secretly recorded. Defense attorneys quoted Gibson as saying, "'I will go through with helping you but it's like at the same time all that money they gave us, I mean gave me, I don't want to have to pay it back.'"

Gibson did not attend the hearing on Thursday. It remained unclear if she would have to pay back the money. Nonetheless, Gibson's admission paved the way for Banks' exoneration.

What an incredibly wicked woman.

Again, gentlemen, remember that something like 40% of all rape charges are totally fabricated - not mistaken, not a matter of opinion, fabricated.

25% of convictions are exonerated by DNA evidence.

More here.

Well, that's awkward.

Man discovers his wife of 16 years was a p*rn star:

So, file this under awkward. A man who went online to look at porn "for the first time" in his life (while he was in a coffee shop) was treated to the shock of his life when he saw his wife of 16 years boning a bunch of dudes in said porno films. I mean, you think you know someone ...

After seeing the unsettling clips, the man, identified as Ramadan, ran home to confront his wife -- who, of course, at first denied it. But then when Ramadan showed her the clips -- you know, the ones starring her and her ladybits -- she had no choice but to come clean and admit her dirty past. What she did after that, though, is downright shocking.

She told Ramadan that despite their almost two-decade-long marriage, and despite the four children they had together, she never loved him. That's right, Ramadan had been had. Joke was on him. And if that wasn't enough salt in his wounds, the pornos were made with an ex-boyfriend of hers. So there. As Ramadan explained: "[My wife] first denied it and accused me of being insane before I faced her with the films ... she then confessed to be still in love with her boyfriend, saying he is as young as her and that I am an old man." Nice.

It's either an injustice that cries out to Heaven or the Daily Mail...

... was just looking for another reason to run some "skin pics."

"Mother-of-four, 28, banned from every nightclub in town for being 'too old to wear skimpy outfits'

"With a size six figure and 36DD chest, this petite blonde thought she would have no trouble getting into a nightclub.

But 28-year-old Lisa Woodman has been banned from every hotspot in her home town - after being told she is too old to wear skimpy outfits.

The furious mother-of-four was barred from three venues in Worcester, West Midlands, because of her low-cut tops, short skirts and knee-length boots."

And the ironic thing is that one of the clubs she was banned from is called "Tramps."

The Dating Life.

No IVF, No contraception, no non-marital sex - it's a package deal:

Pressil said he hadn't considered having a family, and his religious beliefs would never allow him to visit a fertility clinic or participate in any form of artificial insemination. Yet three months after he broke up with his girlfriend, she became pregnant with his sperm at the Advanced Fertility Center of Texas on the Katy Freeway near Beltway 8.


In his lawsuit, Pressil said he found out about the plot when a receipt arrived in the mail, listing him as the patient.

"Pressil was listed as the 'patient' on the receipt even though he had never been to (the clinic) nor ever sought treatment for male infertility," according to his lawsuit.

His ex-girlfriend gave birth to twin boys and then sued him for child support. She was granted that child support after blood tests confirmed Pressil was the father.

"That's a violation of myself, to what I believe in, to my religion, and just to my manhood," Pressil said.

Pressil said his ex-girlfriend always claimed she was unable to have children due to a medical condition involving fibroids. He also said she claimed that her condition required a certain sort of condom be used during sex. Now, in hindsight, he said that seems suspicious.

"I did notice a little bit because she would take the condom and ask me to discard it. And usually, a male would discard their own property, but she would always take the condom and she would run off out of the room and I just didn't think anything of it. And I didn't think that anyone could use a condom and bring it to a clinic to get an in vitro," he said.

Pressil's attorney, Jason Gibson says this is particularly terrifying for a man, especially if he's not planning to have a family.

"It's not what you're thinking when you're in a relationship. That's not what most people are thinking, that their partner is going to get a special condom, use that condom as soon as you're done having sex, run off to the fertility clinic to go have an IVF procedure. That's certainly not what my client was thinking," Gibson said.

An attorney representing the Advanced Fertility Center and Omni-Med Laboratories, Danny Sheena, called the lawsuit "suspect" and "disingenuous."

This is what I've been telling women for years...

...always date nerds.

And yet they still insist on dating men who are good dancers and don't suffer from fits of hysterical blindness in the presence of a "hot" woman.

Being Awkward Makes You Better At Relationships, Says Science:

Happy Opposite Day, everyone. A new study has found that people with no game are actually better at relationships.


The study, which was conducted by the University of California-Berkeley, revealed that people who are more easily embarrassed are more likely to stay in monogamous relationships and are considered to be generally more trustworthy, loyal, relatable and cooperative.

The study makes no claim as to whether or not the Liz Lemons of the world are more likely to find love -- only that once they have it, they're good at hanging on to it.

But wait! Before you go handing out your number to every guy with a trail of toilet paper stuck to his shoe -- there's more. The researchers found that only people with "moderate" embarrassment levels exhibit the favorable qualities. So that girl who can't talk to you without throwing up, isn't necessarily the girl of your dreams.

At least not scientifically speaking.

One sees the stock of Star Trek fans rising once this scientific finding gets better known.

Science news you can use.

Glen Reynolds reports:

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED: Women Aren’t Having Enough Sex, Says Science. “According to psychiatrist Dr. Naomi Greenblatt with the HealthyWomen organization, ‘hitting the skins’ may be as important as hitting the gym when it comes to preserving one’s youthful looks—and women aren’t doing enough of it.”


You can’t argue with science.

Repeat three times - if it seems too good to be true...

...that's because it is.

DUI "entrapment" as a tactic in custody disputes:

Reporting from Martinez, Calif.— David Dutcher met Sharon on Match.com in late 2008, a few months after separating from his wife. "We had a lot in common," he recalled. Sharon loved four-wheel-drive trucks and sports.


They met for coffee, then dinner. Sharon was tall, slender, blond and beautiful. She moaned that she had not had sex in a long time. She told him he had large, strong hands and wondered if that portended other things. She described his kisses as "yummy."

"It felt a lot like Christmas," said Dutcher, 49, a tall, burly engineer with wavy red hair.

On their second date, Sharon suggested they join one of her friends "who was partying because she had closed a real estate deal," Dutcher said. They drove to an Italian restaurant in a suburb near San Francisco. Sharon's friend, "Tash," was a loud and raucous brunet who was pounding down shots.

The women fiddled with Dutcher's tie and massaged his neck and shoulders. The brunet unbuttoned her blouse to reveal generous cleavage. "I am way over my head with these girls," he remembered thinking. "I hadn't been out dating in a while."

Sharon had trouble finishing her tequila shots and asked Dutcher to help, he said. When the women went to the bathroom, two men at the other end of the bar peppered Dutcher with questions.

"Are you a celebrity?" they wanted to know.

The women suggested going to a house with a hot tub that Tash was housesitting, Dutcher said. He followed them in his truck. Within a few minutes, a flashing red light appeared in his rearview mirror. The officer said he had been swerving.

Three months later, Dutcher's wife filed a motion in their divorce case, telling the court that her soon-to-be former husband had been arrested on suspicion of drunk driving and that she feared for their children's safety. The judge ordered that Dutcher's visits be supervised.

Then, earlier this year, Dutcher received a letter from Contra Costa County Senior Deputy Dist. Atty. Harold W. Jewett. It contained a transcript of a police interview with Christopher Butler, a private detective and the subject of a state and federal criminal investigation.

"I hope in some small way this information will help you recoup both rights and dignities lost in one of the most deplorable legal practices I have ever heard of," Jewett wrote.

Dutcher had been duped.

The women who'd ogled him worked for Butler's detective agency. Sharon, who told Dutcher she was a divorcee employed by an investment firm, actually was a former Las Vegas showgirl.

A man who once worked for Butler had blown the whistle. He told authorities Butler arranged for men to be arrested for drunk driving at the behest of their ex-wives and their divorce lawyers — and that entrapment was only one of many alleged misdeeds.

Butler, 49, a former police officer, was arrested in February. In addition to setting up at least five DUIs, he sold drugs for law enforcement officers and helped them open and operate a brothel, collecting and delivering the profits, according to prosecutors and a statement Butler gave them after his arrest. 

And the official corruption angle:

In the March 15 statement obtained by The Times, Butler said his accomplices reasoned that they could shield their illegal businesses because any complaints would be investigated by a state-run narcotics task force, which one of the officers headed.


The alleged crimes implicated three different law enforcement agencies — the San Ramon and Danville police departments and the narcotics task force — and took place in Contra Costa County, a collection of mostly middle-class communities that stretch from the East Bay shoreline opposite San Francisco to upscale suburbs inland.

And:

Susan Dutcher, a substitute schoolteacher, said in a sworn declaration that she paid Butler $2,500 to obtain evidence that her husband drove while drinking. She insisted she did not authorize Butler to have him arrested because she did not want to imperil his job and his ability to pay child support.

Her lawyer's paralegal, who had recommended Butler, "made this all seem completely legal and as though it was standard practice" in divorce cases, she said.

Once Dutcher got into his truck, Butler called a police officer friend to report Dutcher had been drinking. Butler maintained the officer was not paid by him and did not know Dutcher had been set up. The officer, who has not been charged, later went to work for Butler.

Can you say "bee-yatches"?

Actually, in retrospect, Dutcher go lucky.  A pudgy, middle-aged redhead being hit on by hot, young blondes...they could just as easily have been part of a vampire cult or the scouts for an "organ-legger."

How feminism made women miserable by..

...making narcissism a virtue.

Kate Bolick expresses some regrets in The Atlantic:

Ten years later, I occasionally ask myself the same question. Today I am 39, with too many ex-boyfriends to count and, I am told, two grim-seeming options to face down: either stay single or settle for a “good enough” mate. At this point, certainly, falling in love and getting married may be less a matter of choice than a stroke of wild great luck. A decade ago, luck didn’t even cross my mind. I’d been in love before, and I’d be in love again. This wasn’t hubris so much as naïveté; I’d had serious, long-term boyfriends since my freshman year of high school, and simply couldn’t envision my life any differently.


Well, there was a lot I didn’t know 10 years ago. The decision to end a stable relationship for abstract rather than concrete reasons (“something was missing”), I see now, is in keeping with a post-Boomer ideology that values emotional fulfillment above all else. And the elevation of independence over coupling (“I wasn’t ready to settle down”) is a second-wave feminist idea I’d acquired from my mother, who had embraced it, in part, I suspect, to correct for her own choices.

I was her first and only recruit, marching off to third grade in tiny green or blue T-shirts declaring: A Woman Without a Man Is Like a Fish Without a Bicycle, or: A Woman’s Place Is in the House—and the Senate, and bellowing along to Gloria Steinem & Co.’s feminist-minded children’s album, Free to Be … You and Me (released the same year Title IX was passed, also the year of my birth). Marlo Thomas and Alan Alda’s retelling of “Atalanta,” the ancient Greek myth about a fleet-footed princess who longs to travel the world before finding her prince, became the theme song of my life. Once, in high school, driving home from a family vacation, my mother turned to my boyfriend and me cuddling in the backseat and said, “Isn’t it time you two started seeing other people?” She adored Brian—he was invited on family vacations! But my future was to be one of limitless possibilities, where getting married was something I’d do when I was ready, to a man who was in every way my equal, and she didn’t want me to get tied down just yet.

Tell yourself enough times that no real man is worthy of you and - hey, presto! - you'll find that no man really wants to be with you.

Public Service Announcement - 30 Ways for Women over 50 to meet Men.

Lots of good advice here from Belladonna Rogers, although it doesn't say anything about "visiting bars and buying drinks for random redheaded gentlemen."

That one always works.

"Am I dating a 'weirdo?'"

Lady, the fact that you have to ask should tell you that the answer is "yes."

Interesting that most of the all-male respondents on "Dear Wendy" opine that the fact that her boyfriend is going to a strip club alone and getting lap dances is not something a woman should be overly concerned with, including the guy who points out that strip clubs have great bufffet lunches, which, I believe was confirmed on a recent episode of "The Glades, which just goes to prove that you can trust television.
And, obviously, you can trust the impartial opinions about men concerning whether going to a strip club is normal for a guy in a relationship.

*Sheesh*

"Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it... "

[ The Incredibles.]

This is another false accusation of rape story, which as Glen Reynolds observes:

And we sure are seeing a lot of false rape charges nowadays, after decades of being told that women don’t lie about rape.

On the other hand, there is that amazing statistic that approximately 40% of all rape accusations are out and out fabrications.

Here is the story:

Gotcha" moments don't come more classic than the one that happened in Montgomery County recently.


The Sheriff's Office blotter says two officers were called to an apartment to investigate a sexual assault.

"The alleged victim stated to the deputies that her 26-year-old male friend had sexually assaulted her," the report says.

Fair enough, and with that friend standing in the same apartment, no big manhunt needed.

Not so fast: "Upon further investigation the deputies watched a video recording the male had made that showed the female telling him that she was calling the police because he was making her leave the apartment and she would tell the police he assaulted her."

That must have been some look on the woman's face when the dude hit "play."

Sheriff's Lt. Dan Norris tells Hair Balls he doesn't have any further info on the incident, including the name of the woman, who was arrested for making a false report.

"It was unusual, though," he says. "I remember reading that report and going, 'The man was looking out for himself.'"

There are a few things to ponder:

-- We have to assume this was some sort of romantic relationship, and a one-sided one at that. What is the strategical thinking that leads you to conclude falsely accusing the guy of rape is going to repair it?

-- How long would you let things play out between the woman and the officers, knowing all the time you had that slam-dunk in your pocket? Or do you just sit there praying the phone somehow didn't mess up and not record?

-- Once again, a villain is foiled by blabbing about his or her evil intent. Will they ever learn?

Three points.

First, my initial thought was that I was not not entirely sure if recording the conversation wouldn't have been illegal in California under Penal Code Section 632, which provides:

(a) Every person who, intentionally and without the consent of all parties to a confidential communication, by means of any electronic amplifying or recording device, eavesdrops upon or records the confidential communication, whether the communication is carried on among the parties in the presence of one another or by means of a telegraph, telephone, or other device, except a radio, shall be punished by a fine not exceeding two thousand five hundred dollars ($2,500), or imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one year, or in the state prison, or by both that fine and imprisonment. If the person has previously been convicted of a violation of this section or Section 631, 632.5, 632.6, 632.7, or 636, the person shall be punished by a fine not exceeding ten thousand dollars ($10,000), by imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one year, or in the state prison, or by both that fine and imprisonment.

However, California Penal Code Section 633.5 provides:

Nothing in Section 631, 632, 632.5, 632.6, or 632.7 prohibits one party to a confidential communication from recording the communication for the purpose of obtaining evidence reasonably believed to relate to the commission by another party to the communication of the crime of extortion, kidnapping, bribery, any felony involving violence against the person, or a violation of Section 653m. Nothing in Section 631, 632, 632.5, 632.6, or 632.7 renders any evidence so obtained inadmissible in a prosecution for extortion, kidnapping, bribery, any felony involving violence against the person, a violation of Section 653m, or any crime in connection therewith.

It may - I underscore may - have been illegal to record this chick's ranting up to the point where she began spouting off about how she was going to fabricate a rape charge as part of her attempt to extort him into doing something or other.

Second, notwithstanding the issue of the legality of recording, a Penal Code 632 conviction seem like a way better deal than a rape conviction.

Third, with the ubiquity of recording devices in phones and whatnot, we may become a more honest society.

Apparently, this is true in around 40% of all such accusations.

Woman pleads guilty to lying about rape:

Rodney Peters knew Kimberly St. Charles just four hours before she told police he raped her.


After intense interrogations over two days and following a polygraph test, his bosses suspended him and Peters feared he would be jailed. But because his story was so convincing, police asked more questions of his accuser.

That's when St. Charles admitted she lied, police said.

"She didn't know me," Peters said Tuesday after St. Charles pleaded guilty to making a false alarm, a felony. "She was essentially a stranger."

Peters, 42, of Pinckney, Mich., works for Party City. He was at the Westwood store March 12 as it was being switched over to Party City from a Factory Card Outlet store.

The store hired several temporary workers - including St. Charles, 21 -- to restock the shelves and change the décor to make it an official Party City store.

"It was her first day on the job," Peters said. "It was my first day on the project."

Except for introducing himself to all of the temporary workers, Peters never spoke to St. Charles.

"She left for lunch and never came back," Peters said.

A few hours later, police showed up at the store and started asking questions of Peters' boss. Peters soon was in a room with police who said they had to take him in for questioning.

"It was quite embarrassing," he said.

It wasn't until he got to the police office when Det. Dana Jones told him he'd been accused of rape.

He was shocked. He had no criminal record - not even a speeding ticket -- and a work history of more than 25 years. He offered his DNA and to take a polygraph, which police arranged.

His company suspended him and he had no idea why he'd been accused.

"For three days, I was suspended and was looking at rape charges," Peters said.

"I was absolutely devastated. I was sick for three weeks. I couldn't sleep. I didn't eat. It was something you don't even discuss."

During Peters' questioning, Jones pushed him. She quickly became suspicious of the allegations and pushed for St. Charles also to be aggressively questioned.

On March 15, St. Charles admitted she made the story up.

"It was terrible. I'm glad she was so tough," Peters said of Jones.

No one knows why St. Charles accused him.

"There isn't a day that I don't think 'Why?' " said Peters, who wasn't arrested or jailed.

"This is a very serious crime. It just diminishes the seriousness of this happening to other women."

Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge Beth Myers will sentence St. Charles on June 28. St. Charles can go to prison for up to a year but the charge carries the presumption of probation. She may have to pay for the investigation - 11 detectives investigated and interviewed witnesses over three days.

In a case in April, Melinda Denham was sent to prison for six months for falsely reporting her boyfriend raped her. The boyfriend spent time behind bars in that case.

"My biggest thing," Peters said of St. Charles, "is for this young lady to get some help."

Consider the nightmare for Peters; out of the blue and for no reason he is accused of one of the worst crimes imaginable.

I am constantly floored by the statistic supplied by one study that 40% of all rape accusations are totally fabricated - not mistaken, not unproven, completely and totally made up like this one:

A study of rape allegations in Indiana over a nine-year period revealed that over 40% were shown to be false — not merely unproven. According to the author, “These false allegations appear to serve three major functions for the complainants: providing an alibi, seeking revenge, and obtaining sympathy and attention. False rape allegations are not the consequence of a gender-linked aberration, as frequently claimed, but reflect impulsive and desperate efforts to cope with personal and social stress situations.” ( Kanin EJ. Arch Sex Behav. 1994 Feb;23(1):81-92 False rape allegations. )


In 1985, a study of 556 rape allegations found that 27% accusers recanted when faced with a polygraph (which can be ordered in the military), and independent evaluation showed a false accusation rate of 60%. (McDowell, Charles P., Ph.D. “False Allegations.” Forensic Science Digest, (publication of the U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations), Vol. 11, No. 4 (December 1985), p. 64.) 

It just runs counter to what I understand of human nature.

It also indicates the value of the virtue of prudence and why women shouldn't put themselves in situations where they can be assaulted and men shouldn't put themselves in situations where they can be accused of rape, although the Peters case suggests that latter may be essentially impossible to achieve.

Apparently, if you're not married ...

...it really is you, according to Tracy McMillan at Slate Magazine.

Via Wintery Knight.


McMillan's diagnosis rings true to someone sitting on the opposite bench:

1. You're a Bitch.


Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.

The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.

2. You're Shallow.

When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.

There is also this biological fact that runs counter to modern ideology:

3. You're a Slut.


Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.

That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

Bottom line - narcissism isn't attractive.

Then, there is this bit of advice from Vox Day about the "real politik" of marriage:

Marriage is no place for cowards. No woman wants to be married to a man she can intimidate, even if she tries from time to time. Men have to realize that if they want to have a happy home, they have to be a man about facing up to conflict.

Remember the old saying, "Home is Where the Heart is?" That only applies if you relish being in your home in the first place. And that 'aint gonna happen if you live every waking moment in your home, fearful of upsetting your wife. Lying to her to try and avoid upsetting her only makes it worse, because even if you don't consciously realize it, you will hate yourself for living a lie.


Home is supposed to be your sanctuary. Your place to rest, relax, and recharge, so that you can get ready to go out and face the world another day...knowing you can come home and let your guard down and just enjoy the company of your family upon your return. How can you do that when you're afraid of doing or saying something, and than having to deal with an upset tyrant of a spouse?

That is because you are not supposed to be under the dominion of her emotional state in the first place.

I understand that for many men, this is a concept that is much easier to agree with than to put into effect. But if you are under the dominion of a woman's emotional state, you have to break free of it for her sake as well as your own. How can you be relied upon if you are constantly being blown to and fro in the winds of her emotional hurricanes? How can she feel secure with a protector who is a pushover? However, keep in mind that it's also important not to overdo it with your reaction, as so many men and women do when they have finally resolved to act against their habitual behavioral patterns.

Remember that practice makes perfect. The man in control of himself doesn't fear the rage of an out-of-control woman anymore than the boxer fears getting hit. He has absolutely no doubt that he can take the shot because he has taken it before. So, look for opportunities to practice facing up to your fear. The next time you find yourself tempted to shade the truth or avoid telling her something because you are afraid of her reaction, first remind yourself of the Litany Against Fear and then assume that you're going to be busy not exacerbating the situation by giving into your own emotions for the next 15 minutes.

What it sounds like is that there is a lot of undiagnosed "obsessive compulsive personality disorder" out there, which can make a marriage a living hell:

Generally two hallmark thinking styles are pervasive for persons who suffer this condition. The primary manifestations of OCPD entail either a bent toward perfectionistic standards or righteous indignation. Along with perfectionism comes relentless anxiety about not getting things perfect. Getting things correct and avoiding at all costs the possibilities of making an error is of paramount importance. This perspective produces procrastination and indecisiveness. The second factor entails the rigid ownership of truth. This feature produces anger and conflict. Persons with OCPD generally lean toward one of these perspectives or another. In some cases both perspectives are of equal magnitude. Rituals, on the other hand, often play a relatively small part in this complex syndrome of perfectionistic mannerisms, intense anger and strict standards. Their way is the correct way and all other options are "WRONG". Anger and contempt are rarely held at bay for those who disagree.

I'm not sure that Vox Day's advice can have any effect on a person in the grips of OCPD since the OCPD sufferer has nearly unlimited energy for their condition and would find energy from the conflict that Day is suggesting. 

More accurate than all the Sociological faculties at every major university.

From the Volokh Conspiracy:

OKCupid’s datamining blog is a source of amusement, politically incorrect insight, and horror in equal measure.  But what strikes me is the enormous power that comes from the democratizing of data-mining.  It will change the world, just as Google did when it democratized clipping files and newspaper morgues.

The people at OKCupid do a nice job of presenting the data without shaving the data to fit social pieties.  Some of their observations are amusing, such as the finding that everyone - men and women alike - make themselves two inches taller in their profiles. 

Some are counter-intuitive, such as the fact - Ladies, listen up - that skin "sells" for women on internet dating sites, and it sells more the older you get.

Alright, I'm not sure how that last point is "counter-intuitive."  But that's the data.

This one answer the question my 12 year daughter asked me about why society thinks it is "ok" for men to date younger women, but not for women to date younger men.  I gave a lot of folderol about arbitrary social conventions linked to evolutionary psychology, but OKCupid has the data and an explanation:

A woman's desirability peaks at 21, which, ironically enough is the age that men just begin their "prime," i.e. become more desirable than average. Following that dotted line out, you can see that a woman of 31 is already "past her prime," while a man doesn't become so until 36. As we mentioned above, after age 26, a man has more potential matches than his female counterparts, which is a drastic reversal of the proportion in young adulthood, when women are much more sought-after. Because men's dating preferences skew so young, and women's are age-equitable, men peak later, and have a longer plateau of desirability, than women.

Also, if you want to know the chances of whether you will "get lucky" on the first date, find out if you date likes the taste of beer or whether they would find the prospects of nuclear war "exciting" since "in the post-apocalypse, there are no second dates."

If you are on the front-lines of the "the Dating Life," OKCupid is an essential survival resource.

So much for socio-biology and evolutionary psychology.

Match.com study shows:

Chalk it up to the difference between romantic comedies and real life: A new survey of American singles finds that men want babies and commitment, while women are more likely to want independence in their relationships.


The survey, commissioned by dating website Match.com and underwritten in part by Binghamton University in New York, queried a nationally representative sample of Americans ages 21 to 65 and up. The results reveal the effects of massive social changes on gender relations, said Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and a chief scientific adviser at Match.com.

"We've seen since the beginning of the industrial revolution that men and women have growing economic equality," Fisher told LiveScience. "But now we're starting to see much more of how men are interested in attachment and commitment and how interested women are in preserving some of their independence."

Or it could be that the respondents are lying to get a date.

Well, if they didn't want to be falsely accused of committing rape, they shouldn't have been someplace where they could have been falsely accused of committing rape.

English women jailed after falsely accusing two men of raping her.

A lying mother-of-one who claimed she had been raped because she wanted to get rid of her husband has been jailed for 18 months.


Bernadett Kore, 29, told police she had been brutally attacked by two thugs in an alleyway in October.

But it transpired that the woman made the whole story up - leaving the two men she accused devastated by their terrifying ordeal.

Kore described two men she had seen at a nightclub and the police used the nightclub's closed circuit televisions to identify and arrest them.  The two men were not exonerated until Kore admitted that she was lying.

This stuff amazes me in that it must take a unimaginably depraved mind to randomly select a person to lie about and ruin their lives, often for a fairly trivial end.  Also, it is a reminder of the prima facie unbelievable claim that something like 40% of rape accusations are false, not just unproven, but actually fraudulent.
 
If I had sons, I might be giving the advice outlined in the headline.

File under "Give your criminal defense lawyer a hug."


Woman recants rape allegations that put man in jail for 3 years. The bad news is that she put this guy in jail for the most trivial of reason, which is pure evil. The good news is that she had enough of a conscience to finally do the right thing, which is good. The guy apparently had a long rap sheet, which did most of the work of convincing everyone that he had done what he hadn't done.

It's alarming how easy it can sometimes be to send someone to jail for a crime they didn't commit, which ties into the statistic that 40% of rape allegations are false.  Not unsubstantiated. False.

The dating life

An study in Indiana established that 40% of rape charges were false accusations. Not unsubstantiated, false.

A study of rape allegations in Indiana over a nine-year period revealed that over 40% were shown to be false — not merely unproven. According to the author, “These false allegations appear to serve three major functions for the complainants: providing an alibi, seeking revenge, and obtaining sympathy and attention. False rape allegations are not the consequence of a gender-linked aberration, as frequently claimed, but reflect impulsive and desperate efforts to cope with personal and social stress situations.” ( Kanin EJ. Arch Sex Behav. 1994 Feb;23(1):81-92 False rape allegations. )

In 1985, a study of 556 rape allegations found that 27% accusers recanted when faced with a polygraph (which can be ordered in the military), and independent evaluation showed a false accusation rate of 60%. (McDowell, Charles P., Ph.D. “False Allegations.” Forensic Science Digest, (publication of the U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations), Vol. 11, No. 4 (December 1985), p. 64.)

On the other side is that there are men who match their perjuring sisters for being pustules on the body of society. I know of one woman in her 50s who was "rufied" at a nice restaurant by a man in his late 50s, something that I thought was apocryphal, happened on television shows or among college students.

The Battle of the Sexes takes no prisoners, it seems.